Eggs, Contentment and a Husband that's good to me.

I really want eggs.  Fresh, pastured eggs.  I am currently paying for them every week at the farmer's market and am soooo going to miss them this winter. I had read on Weed 'Em And Reap (one of my two favorite blogs!) - and this is with GMO and soy-free feed - it still costs less than $2/dozen.  Folks, that's crazy cheap for pastured eggs, nonetheless GMO-free. So what this all translates to is that I want to own chickens.

Enter husband mentioned in the title of this blog. We live on a good sized yard in a hamlet, (yard is more than enough for a large-sized dog). However, said husband does not want chickens in this yard. Doesn't want the smell, the care, the poop.  I'm not sure I can blame him - we'd have to keep the coop right on top of the house due to zoning restrictions in our town. Our girls run around our backyard often without shoes. How would this work with chickens running around? I work full time from home, go to school, will be leading a bible study and the fall is Operation Christmas Child time (I'm a Relay Center Coordinator). His concern is that I will not have the time to feed them, clean their coops weekly and gather the eggs. And anything else that the chickens might require.

Put these two issues together and I am frustrated. It was irritating even just to type it! I'm not angry at my husband (he's shown more than a time or two that he abounds in the carefulness, self-control and wisdom God did not bestow upon me). I like that my girls run around without care back there. I am strapped for time many-a-days.

What this leads to is such a sense of discontent.  I want more land. I want a house that can entertain 20 people in the living area.  I want my chickens.  I want the time to grow things. I want to have my own goats for milk. I have spent most of my adult life wishing for the next stage - when I struggled with getting pregnant, I just wanted to be pregnant.  When I got pregnant, I just wanted to have the baby. (Well, maybe that's not so much to do with a spirit of discontent but more normal pregnancy feelings.) When I had the baby, I spent most of the first year just wishing and waiting for the next stage because the pitfalls of the current stage were irritating.  We didn't own a home, but lived in an apartment. We so longed to own a home. We spent the first 7 years of our married life pushing and looking for a house... now, here I am, with a job that more than pays the bills, allows for a home that I prayed for for seven years, and I am discontent. I am greedy and I want a bigger house with more land.

Enter blog entry from another favorite blogger (I am just smitten with how your interweaves homemaking, homesteading, her love of Jesus, love of husband and babies all into one blog!), Shaye over at the Elliott Homestead.  She wrote this wonderful post a couple of weeks ago about being discontent with homesteading and I cannot shake it.

Maybe I will get more land someday to raise chickens and goats. Maybe someday I'll have the time to care for them, and farm like nobody's business. But when I'm crossing the judgment seat - although I know I'm already sealed to be with God for eternity - I'll still be held accountable. Did I love Jesus and did I love others? What did I do with what He gave me?

God has given me so much, and instead of being determined to turn it back into service, I am clutching onto it and feeling sorry for myself that I don't have more.  I think God is trying to teach this heart contentment, and that I must be willing to give up all the tangible blessings and not bury my talents in the sand in fear of losing those tangible blessings or that I won't get to do what I want to do (like goats).

God will give me the strength the endure whatever He allows, even if it means never getting what I want. "Actually, I don’t have a sense of needing anything personally. I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I’m just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I’ve found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am." (Philippians 4:11-13, The Message)

P.S. Dear Husband made it into the title of this post because it is him who has been God's mouthpiece to me lately. ;-) (And I mean that in ONLY in sincere affection to him!)

Foodie.

I admit that I consider myself a foodie.  If I called myself a food junkie, that sounds like I'm binging on chips and chocolate, and while that *sounds* good that's definitely not what I'm doing.

We try at least one new recipe a week (often, it's more like 4 or 5).  My oh-so-adventureous husband is a good sport and tries everything.  We have an understanding - he tells me exactly what he likes and doesn't like.  Some may hear his open criticism at the dinner table as him being negative/judgmental/a complainer.  But really, he's my most revered food critic.  If he doesn't tell me what's good and bad about a dish, I'll never know how to fix it or repeat it.

I think my biggest source of inspiration is pinterest.  I used to subscribe to a few magazines so I could have a regular digest of new recipes, but I now follow some amazing fellow foodies that create recipes themselves! I think that's why I cook so much.... without any professional training, I'm trying to teach myself what works and doesn't work, so that *someday* I can make up my own recipes.  I do feel pretty confident with meats and marinades, but I'm in some desperate need of gastronomical chemistry :)  I don't know WHY there are three eggs in a baked dish versus four, and how do you determine the amount of flour to leavener? I know there is some math here, and also some chemistry.  I also know that I could probably just apply the scientific method and figure out .... but here's my final point:

I have a full-time job, I go to school, and chase two darling and sometimes-over-energetic girls around the house.  I want someone to just tell me! Or write it out.  Do you know how this stuff works?  Or maybe have a book about the chemistry behind baking/cooking? I'm dying to know!
Last point on being a foodie.... I think I get a sense of satisfaction from eating good food.  I suppose that's what makes me a foodie.  That's also partially how I got myself into a situation of needing to lose weight... I just LOVE tasting good food.  Well, my problem is that I ATE instead of just tasting.  This desire for good food and losing weight has led me down a path of "real food", organic, and with a hint of paleo.  I'm now totally impassioned about eating food that doesn't have corn syrup added (WHY DO YOU NEED TO ADD THAT?! It's just an empty calorie... and at that, it's a carb!) and eating food that's well, real.  I know I've mentioned this on my facebook page (or alluded to it).  But do you know what happened when I cut almost all processed food? I dropped about 5 pounds in less than a week.  Like it literally fell off of me with no issue.  (My "last" real food conversion to do is dressings/sauces. Most of them have corn syrup or soybean oil or something added to it that just isn't necessary to have good flavor.  Not to mention it probably came from a genetically modified food.)

So that's my rant on being a foodie.  I'm hoping to start blogging about what I learn, what I make, and the other swirling thoughts around my head.  Next up:  eggs.

My latest musings on smart phones

First of all, if you've talked to me for more than 2 seconds about phones you will instantly hear how much I loathe mine.  It was the first 4GLTE phone Verizon offered, and at the time, it's what I needed for my (then) new job... I wasn't interested in purchasing a 3G phone just have 4G arrive in CNY and feel moody that I didn't have a 4G phone.  I think with the lack of reliability of this phone, I could've suffered through having 3G.  At any rate, it shuts itself off regularly, takes 15 minutes to restart, and is so ridiculously buggy it's not even worth recounting.  Just to further muddy my phone's reputation, my in-laws own the exact same phone and have similar issues.  And to say the least, that phone is not man-handled near as much as mine.  My sister owns the same brand and has similar complaints.  It would appear that this company has just not "got it" when it comes to phones.

That's enough on the crap phone. 

When Windows 8 came out, I was optimistic.  I thought, "How cool would it be to have the same EVERYTHING wherever I am?" We purchased Windows 8 for both our personal PC and laptop, and I don't think I regret either decision (especially considering we upgraded both for under $100).  I love, love, love having apps as part of my screen.  I love operating within apps on my phone, and found myself wishing for an app for something on my computer.  Windows 8 for PC is a good fit for me.  I was hoping to find a Windows 8 phone that would help with this streamlining.  I just knew I'd found something good.

Wrong.

I am committed to Verizon - for lots of reasons - so that's the first thing to understand when reading my complaint.  At the time of purchasing Windows 8 for PC - this was back in November - I did my research and found that Verizon had two Windows 8 phones currently on the market.  One of them had an incredibly low battery life (another huge complaint on my current phone) while on 4G data and the other was the same brand I currently own.... and I'm not going there again.  I was bummed... but I read the reviews, heard the rumors that Samsung had promised a Windows 8 phone before the new year.  The new year came, and went, and no phone.  Then, out of the blue, it was released.  No pre-order sales (that I was aware of, anyway) and it hit the market at $49.99.  At risk at sounding like a phone snob, that did not impress me much.  When I look at what other phones go at with a 2-year contract, I was honestly willing to pay $200 if it meant that I got a Windows 8 phone to streamline all of this.  Coming right out of the gate at under $100 left me with one impression: cheap.

I've read the reviews, and it's nothing stellar.  I'm disappointed that Samsung didn't take this OS more seriously with the size, with the feel, with the camera.  I'm disappointed by the lack of apps - android has WAY more apps than Windows 8.  I'm aware that this will probably grow... but you can't really get over a crap phone.  I've got one, and I'm paying for it.  (Side note: this does not discount my love of Windows 8 for PC.  Coming from no apps on a PC to lots is a huge improvement, so I'm still cool with the smaller number than android.)

So, I'm sad to report that I will probably be purchasing the Samsung Galaxy S III.  This sounds silly to be sad about it, but I was really holding out for Windows 8.  I have been eligible for an upgrade for months and have been waiting for Verizon to offer something promising.  I know I'll be getting a great phone.  But I'm still sad that Windows 8 didn't do it for me.